This is originally written in Afrikaans (https://mysilentvoice.blog/2021/07/21/my-lyf-leer-n-les/) and was translated to English by Mom.
It is not every day that we can do stuff like other families.
Because my body is the way it is, we often have to stay home when other people do not have to stay home. My body makes it hard to do things like other people do. Even ordinary things are not easy for me.
My family is used to it, but people who do not know us, do not understand it at all.
My body is not my friend, like that kid in the S2C video spelled (Overview of Spelling to Communicate https://i-asc.org/families/videos/ ) . My body is especially a problem when we want to do something other than normal, then my body is completely overwhelmed. So, doing something else is not easy. My body wants to let me down if I do not prepare my body well for change.
My body is not my best mate if I do not keep him pretty calm.
Change makes me nervous.
When we do something different than usual, my body does not want to cooperate. My body is then my biggest obstacle. Even though my body is normally difficult to control, it is much more difficult to control in such circumstances where we could not prepare my body. So, tackling a new thing is my biggest challenge.
This weekend we moved with our sheep from our summer farm to our winter farm, Ashoek. It’s something that also affects me, because my body also feels when it’s time for the sheep to move. I feel their haste over them wanting to get to where it’s warmer. My overwhelmed body does not handle the cold well either.
My dad and sister usually trek (move) the sheep along with the workers. This year we all went together because my mom wanted to help me because we had not done it together before. I really wanted to go with the previous times. Because we did not know if we would be able to handle me, as well as working with the sheep, I always stayed at home in the past when the sheep were being moved.
My mom is not brave when it comes to strange situations, with me, because we have had a lot of trouble with my body in the past. My mom is not worried without good cause. She has had to struggle a lot with me in strange situations. Now that we can communicate with each other, we can talk about it, but it still does not take away the memories of the events from the past when we did not understand each other. It will still take a lot of chatting to fix it all.
My story is about the good weekend we had together as a family while we moved the sheep.
My dad was my biggest supporter. He wanted to take me along, but my mom also had to go along to help me see if everything was al right. We are much calmer now than we used to be because my family now understands me better.
Because we can now tell each other what is bothering us, we can handle the strange situations better.
My dad is still struggling because we can not quite talk to each other yet, but he understands all that is happening.
My family is used to all my funny manners, but when we get into such strange circumstances, then my manners are even stranger than usual.
If we can not tell each other what is going on, they will never understand what is happening to me.
Sometimes it seems like we are crazy, but we are working on a plan to manage my body so that my body does not get out of control. Mom is already so good at seeing what happens. Sometimes you will think we are torturing me, the way I act out, but then my heart is actually very happy about something and my body just can not let my joy look like joy. My mom can already see nicely when I’m really happy, even though I seem sad.
My body is very silly with my emotions .
All my emotions are in place and I understand all my emotions but my body does not respond to emotions as we think it should react. Even though it’s such a mess, my mom already knows most of the time what’s going on.
It’s just because my mom can talk to me about what she’s seeing happen and I can tell her what emotions I’m feeling while my body reacts that way. It makes me feel safe, even in unfamiliar situations.
These are all my biggest dreams coming true. With my family, we will be able to overcome any obstacle. We still stress each other out sometimes, but we also help each other right again soon.
This is why my body has learned a lesson, because if my family is with me, we can help each other now.
My family can help me now when we get into unknown situations and
it makes me feel safe,
because we can talk to each other.
My family is now my calm in unfamiliar situations.