We are going to visit an old school friend.

Please scroll down for English version.

Ons gaan kuier vir ‘n ou skoolmaat.

Geskryf op 28 Julie 2023

Om my ou skoolvriende te sien is gewoonlik baie lekker vir my.  Ek het goeie herinneringe aan die kinders wat saam met my in die skool was voor ek met my skoolloopbaan saam met gewone kinders begin het, maar my herinneringe aan die skool is nie goed nie.  Inteendeel, dit is meestal baie slegte herinneringe. Dit is nie lekker om daaroor te praat nie, maar dit  is belangrik om my te help om my verlede te verwerk.

Ek is nie besig om my verlede te vergeet nie, want dit is nie moontlik nie. Om te vergeet, sal beteken dat ek vergeet van die mense wat nog steeds nie mooi verstaan hoe non-speaking outisme werk nie. Ek het my bes probeer om hulle te laat verstaan hoe dit werk, maar lyk my hulle verstaan nog steeds nie mooi nie. My skoolmaats moet ook gehelp word. Om hulle te bereik is baie moeilik as hulle nog in die skool is. So, as ek hoor iemand is nie meer in die skool nie,  is dit vir my baie goed want dan weet ek hulle is nou ook uit daardie baie slegte omgewing waar hulle nie verstaan word nie.  Maar dan beteken dit nog nie dat hulle nou op ‘n plek is waar hulle wel verstaan word nie. 

Om op ‘n plek te wees waar jy kan kommunikeer sodat jy self kan praat, is baie lekker, want dan kan jy ook vir jou mense vertel  hoe jou lyf werk sodat hulle jou beter verstaan.

Ons was gister by ‘n vriend wat saam met my in die klas was in die skool wat ons nie verstaan nie. My herinneringe aan hom is baie traumaties. Hy was nog baie jonk toe hy in daardie skool was. Hy het baie swaar gekry toe hy saam met my was. Sy lyf is ook soos myne. Ons sukkel om gedoen te kry wat ons wil doen.  Hy het baie keer in die moeilikheid gekom oor sy lyf hom in die steek gelaat het. Hy hou ook nie van geskel word nie. Dit was vir hom ook onmoontlik om sy lyf bestuur te kry terwyl hy geskel word.

Ons het van mekaar geweet en mekaar se stryd verstaan, maar ons kon nie met mekaar praat daaroor nie.   Ons het al twee swaar gekry, maar ons was al twee alleen in ons stryd. Ons kon mekaar nie ondersteun behalwe met ‘n kyk nie.  Ek sal sy verwese ogies nie uit my gedagtes kry nie. Dit was so traumaties vir my dat ek hom nie kon help nie.

Dit is so swaar om daaraan te dink, dat my lyf so deurmekaar is terwyl ek hier skryf, dat dit ‘n sirkus is hier soos my lyf te kere gaan.  

Ons het al twee dit oorleef.

Dit is wat nou die belangrikste deel van my storie is:

Ons het oorleef.

Ons kan nou kommunikeer.

Ons is al twee op pad na hoër hoogtes as wat ons vorige skool ooit sou kon droom.

Ons gaan weer heel word.

Ons gaan die kans hê om te praat oor wat ons ervaar het.

Ons het ‘n toekoms wat ons ander ou klasmaats nog nie het nie.

Ons is nou op ‘n goeie pad.

Ons kan nou vorentoe gaan.  

Om gister by hierdie ou klasmaat te kon kuier, was vir my ‘n vreeslike groot ding. Om vir hom te sien, was baie swaar vir my.

Hy is nou baie groter as toe ons in dieselfde klas was. Ek sien hom nog steeds kyk na my met daardie oë wat sê ons verstaan mekaar. Maar ons is nie meer so bang en verwese soos wat ons was nie. Ek sien nou by hom ook hoop vir die toekoms. Dit is die heel mooiste vir my. Hoop is ‘n baie kosbare ding.  Sonder hoop is die lewe baie bitter swaar.

My hart voel nou beter oor my vriend.

Hy gaan okay wees.

Ons gaan al twee okay wees.

We are going to visit an old school friend.

Written on 28 July 2023 in Afrikaans and translated by Mom with the help of Google translate.

I usually enjoy seeing my old school friends again. I have good memories of the children who were in school with me before I started my school career with ordinary children, but my memories of school are not good. On the contrary, they are mostly very bad memories. It’s not fun to talk about, but it’s important to help me come to terms with my past.

I am not trying to forget my past because it is not possible. To forget, would mean I forget about the people who still don’t quite understand how non-speaking autism works. I tried my best to make them understand how it works, but it seems to me they still don’t quite understand. My schoolmates also need to be helped. Reaching them is very difficult when they are still in school. So, when I hear that someone is no longer in school, it is very good for me because then I know that they are now also freed from that very bad environment where they are not understood. But then, it still does not mean that they are now in a place where they are understood.

Being in a place where you can communicate, so that you can speak for yourself is very nice, because then you can also tell your people how your body works so that they understand you better.

Yesterday we visited a friend who was in class with me in the school that does not understand us. My memories of him are very traumatic. He was still very young when he was in that school. He suffered a lot when he was in class with me. His body is also like mine. We struggle to get done what we want to do. He got into trouble many times because his body failed him. He also doesn’t like being scolded. It was also impossible for him to manage his body while being scolded.

We knew about each other and understood each other’s struggles, but we couldn’t talk to each other about it. We both suffered, but we were both alone in our struggle. We could not support each other in any other way than with a look. I won’t get his sad eyes out of my mind. It was so traumatic for me that I couldn’t help him. It’s so hard to recall these memories that my body is all messed up while I’m writing here. It’s a circus here as my body goes crazy.

We both survived it.

This is now the most important part of my story:

We survived.

We can communicate now.

We are both on our way to greater heights than our previous school could ever dream of.

We will become whole again.

We are going to have the chance to talk about what we experienced.

We have a future that our other old classmates do not yet have.

We are now on a good path.

We can move forward now.

Being able to visit this old classmate yesterday was a terribly big thing for me. Seeing him was very hard for me.

He is much bigger now than when we were in the same class. I still see him looking at me with those eyes that say we understand each other. But we are no longer as afraid and sad  as we were. I now also see hope for the future in him. It is the most beautiful to me. Hope is a very precious thing. Without hope, life is very bitterly hard.

My heart feels better about my friend now.

He’s going to be okay.

We’ll both be okay.