My autism is not as bad as you think.1

April is outisme-maand, maar outisme is my lewe. Elke dag is outisme-dag vir my. Outisme is die ding wat my lewe elke dag anders maak as vir meeste kinders van my ouderdom.

April is autism month, but autism is my life. Every day is autism day for me. Autism is the thing which makes my life different from most kids of my age.

Outisme is nie so sleg soos wat meeste mense dink nie. Outisme is my lewe, so ek weet waarvan ek praat as ek dit sê.

Autism is not as bad as most people think. Autism is my life, so I know what I am talking about.

My outisme is nie ‘n las nie. Ek is bekommerd dat mense dink dat outisme net sleg is. Dit is my wens dat ek die wêreld se negatiewe konnektasie van outisme kan verander.

Autism is not a burden for me. I am worried that people think that autism is only bad. It is my wish to change the world’s negative conoctation of autism.

Ek is so spyt  niemand kan in my kop sien hoe outisme my brein laat werk nie. As mense kon sien, sou hulle verstaan hoekom outisme nie ‘n slegte ding is nie. Ek is so vies as mense net sleg praat van outisme, want dit is eintlik ‘n baie mooi ding wat my lewe soveel interessanter maak as wat ander mense s’n is.

It is such a shame that nobody can see in my head how autism makes my brain work. If people could have seen, they would have understood why autism is not such a bad thing. I get very upset when people only say negative things about autism, because it is actually a very beautiful thing which makes my life a lot more interesting than other people’s.

My outisme lyk nie dieselfde as ander se outisme nie. So, ek kan net van my outisme vertel. My outisme is anders, maar dit is ook baie dieselfde as ander kinders s’n.  

My autism does not look the same as other autisms. So, I can only tell about my autism. My autism is different, but also very similar to other kid’s autism.

My outisme is so lekker om te hê dat ek dit beslis nie wil weg wens nie. Ek sal nie my lewe wil verander as ek sou kon nie. Ek is uniek geskape en ek is tevrede met wat God vir my gegee het, al is dit nie elke dag maklik nie.

My autism is so nice to have, that I definitely do not want to wish it away. Even if I could change my life, I would not. I am created uniquely and I am satisfied with what God gave me, even though it’s not always easy.

My outisme is my beste eienskap. As ek dit verduidelik, sal ek baie lank moet skryf. So ek wil elke dag van April maand oor iets skryf wat my outisme spesiaal maak en dan kan ons elke week iets post.

My autism is my best attribute. When I have to explain this, I’ll have to write a very long essay. So, I want to write about things that make my autism so special every day of April and then I can post it every week.

Ek wil daarom oor drie goed skryf wat my outisme so spesiaal maak.

I want to write about three things which makes my autism so special to me.


Me and my beautiful teacher Elizna

This is a translation by mom and teacher Elizna of the original “My droom om te dans”.

My mood/emotions and my body are related. I see it as a dance, because they both dance with me. My mood/emotions on the one side and my body on the other. As soon as they do not dance smoothly together, there is trouble. My body tends to pull to the one side and my mood to the other. Then there is extreme confusion. Sometimes it is an immensely difficult battle  to interoperate with these two sides of me, but when we do dance in harmony, my life is super happy. I want to tell you what helps me to get this dance right.

My mom:

My mom is very patient with me. If only I could have been this patient with myself, life would have been much easier for me.

My beautifull  teacher Elizna:

She showed me how to draw mindmaps. This helps me to organize my thoughts, in order for me to – when I have a problem – construct clever plans and find solutions.

Her calm demeaner, when she works with me, helped me a lot. As soon as somebody shouts or screams at me, my body immediately gets confused and then my body does not want to listen to my brain at all.

She also showed me how enjoyable school can be when you are understood and accepted. It makes a gigantic difference in my life to be accepted, with all my difficulties and all, like now.

Previously it was impossible for me to regulate myself in the classroom, because I could feel that I was not accepted. It is the most difficult thing for me to regulate myself in an unfriendly environment.

I am really happy now with a teacher that understands how my body and my mind are related.


This is one of the most important things.

My body is my worst enemy when he does not want to cooperate with my brain.

When I notice that somebody gets involved with my struggle and does not allow me the opportunity to solve my problem by myself, then I feel as if that person does not trust me to be able to solve my problem by myself. So, then I feel that I am not accepted.

I appreciate help very much, but I also need space to try things myself, eventhough somebody assists me.

It is also important to me to feel save enough to ask for help when I need it, without feeling judged for not being able to get my body to do a simple task.

It is a very difficult balance to find, because sometimes my mom or somebody else needs to intervene to stop me from keeping on struggling with something. There are situations like that as well and someone will only get it right if they understand me very well.

I also had to learn to accept myself.

That is something I am only starting with, so, I still have a long road ahead of me. It was only possible to start accepting myself because I felt more accepted by the people around me.

It is very important in my process of self-acceptance for me to feel that people appreciate me for my clever brain and do not judge me for my stupid body.

This is so important that I cannot say it enough. It is the most beautiful thing for me when I see my mom’s  and my beautiful teacher’s  acceptance of me and supporting me in my efforts to accept myself for my good and my bad attributes. It is the best thing when they help me to try and find solutions.

Before I could communicate, I often tried to find solutions myself, but nobody knew about my efforts and I was often judged for my behaviour, while I was actually trying my utmost best to find a solution myself. Now that I can communicate, I can ask for help and discuss my plans with my mom and my beautiful teacher. I am very happy that I am able to do that.


This is also super important.

My body does not show how I feel.

So, if I cannot communicate, I cannot show what bothers me or makes me happy. It is a huge battle when my body does not want to co-operate and I cannot tell with my “pentalker” what the problem is. I then get extremely frustrated with myself as well as the people around me.

My bloggerfriends:

My mom often reads and tells me about other blogs she read that was written by other people whose bodies also messes around like mine, and they mean a lot to me. They tell about their struggles with their bodies that does not want to cooperate and that helps me not to feel all alone. I am for ever gratefull to them for their willingness to share their struggles with the world. It makes a huge difference in my struggle to accept myself.

They are the only company I have  that is the same as me, because my friends who are in my school, cannot communicate yet. My blogger friends  are very special to me. There were  times when I was extremely despondent because of my body’s uncooperativeness. I felt as if it was only my body that does this. It helped me a lot when I heard there are other people who have the same struggle as me.

Body engagers:

I have a few practical tips to help me with my dance with my body and my emotions.

The one thing that helps me the most, is body engagers, which keeps my body busy while my brain is working.

I love a video about fish which my teacher often plays for me in class. While I am watching the fishes, I am actually thinking very hard. When my body is not busy while I am using my brain, I struggle to control my body and then my body  gets me in trouble.

When I am busy with the body engagers, I can think more clearly. When I have to keep my body 100% still, it takes so much effort from me that I cannot think clearly. Then I am totally exhausted from the struggle to control my body and I am then doomed for failure.

It is because I was watching the fishes, that I could write this blog. It also calms me down when I watch the fishes swimming around so beautifully. 

I sometimes uses something which texture I like and feels nice to me, to keep my hands busy. This also helps a lot. If that does not help me, I try to get something different to keep myself busy so that I can think.

I like to stim as well, which helps me to keep calm when I get worked up or upset.

Staying calm:

I think people have no idea how well I can sense their mood fluctuations. This has a serious influence on my body and my mood. It is very difficult for me to function in the presence of somebody who is not calm.

I have a struggle to stay calm myself. As soon as I get excited, sad, stressed, unhappy or experience any other emotion than calmness,  then I struggle immensely to keep my body under control. The emotions confuse my body. So if someone close to me struggles to keep calm, then I have no chance of controling my body. It is especially important to stay calm when it looks like I am busy losing it. It is very difficult for me to turn  my mood and my body around when people around me react to my body’s movements and the sounds I make when I get upset. I have to try to keep myself calm, otherwise I am going to lose it in any case. Whether I can turn it around when I am already upset, mostly depends on the people around me.

My ears’ lightning conductors

That is what my noise cancelling headphones and white noise are to my very sensitive ears. These are very important aids to help me with my dance with my mood and my body. The other thing that also helps me is when I cover my ears with my hands, so that the loud or irritating sounds not upset me.

Respect for my hard work to control my body.

It is very important that I should be allowed the opportunity to say when I am done, because then I am too tired to control my body any further. I am then not certain anymore if I will be able to keep my body under control in case I get upset. I appreciate it immenseley if someone respects me enough to give me the opportunity to say if I can no longer hold on.

That implies that I sometimes have to throw in the towel and try again on another day.

It is very important that I should be given this choice so that I know that my body is not going to let me down at a time or place that is humiliating to me.

I will probably never have complete control over my body, but I can work on my reaction on my “out of control” body. Thank you to each person who helped me to understand that. I think this is the most important lesson I’ve learned in my effort to dance in harmony with my mood and my body. I am already managing to control myself, even if I am very upset about something or about something someone said. It is already so much better than it was before, but I still have a long road ahead of me and I still have to work very hard on it every day.


Ek en my mooi juffrou Elizna

My lyf en my gemoed is baie afhanklik van mekaar. Ek sien dit as ‘n dans, want altwee dans saam met my. My gemoed aan die een kant en my lyf aan die ander kant. Sodra hulle nie mooi saam dans nie, is daar moeilikheid. My lyf is geneig om eenkant toe te neuk en my gemoed na die ander kant toe. Dan is dit ‘n lelike deurmekaarspul as dit dit gebeur. Dit is soms ‘n vreeslike stryd om met die twee kante van my saam gewerk te kry, maar as ons mooi saam dans dan is my lewe super gelukkig. Ek is nou  sommer mooi gereed om te vertel wat my help om mooi gedans te kry


My Ma:

My mamma is baie geduldig met my. As ek net so geduldig kon wees met myself, sou dit my lewe baie makliker gemaak het.

My mooi juffrou Elizna:

Sy het my gewys hoe om “mindmaps” op te stel. Dit help my om my gedagtes mooi agter mekaar te kry, sodat ek – as ek ‘n probleem het – mooi planne kan maak om oplossings te kry.

Haar rustige manier van met my werk het my baie gehelp. Sodra iemand op my raas en skree, dan raak ek dadelik deurmekaar en wil my lyf glad nie luister na my brein nie.

Sy het ook vir my gewys hoe lekker dit in die skool kan wees as mens verstaan en aanvaar kan word. Dit maak ‘n reusagtige verskil in my lewe om so aanvaar te word met al my moeilikhede en al.

Dit was voorheen vir my onmoontlik om myself in die klas te reguleer, omdat ek kon aanvoel dat ek nie aanvaar word nie. Dit is die moeilikste ding om myself te reguleer in ‘n onvriendelike omgewing.

Dit is nou baie lekker met ‘n juffrou wat verstaan hoe my lyf en my gemoed saamwerk.


Dit is mooi een van die heel belangrikste goed.

My lyf is my grootste vyand as hy nie met my brein wil saamwerk nie. As ek sien iemand raak betrokke en gee my nie kans om my probleem self op te los nie, dan voel dit vir my asof daardie persoon my nie vertrou om dit self te kan oplos nie. So dan voel ek dat ek nie aanvaar word nie.

Ek waardeer hulp vreeslik baie, maar ek het ook ruimte nodig om self te probeer, al gee iemand my hulp.

Dit is ook vir my belangrik om veilig te voel om hulp te kan vra wanneer ek dit nodig het, sonder om veroordeel te voel omdat ek nie my lyf kan kry om ‘n eenvoudige ding te doen nie.

Dit is ‘n moeilike balans om te vind, want party maal moet my ma of iemand anders my help en my keer om aan te hou sukkel met ‘n ding.  So daar is sulke gevalle ook en net as iemand my mooi verstaan, sal hulle dit regkry.

Ek moes ook leer om myself te aanvaar en dit het ek net begin regkry, so ek het nog ‘n lang pad daarmee voor my. Dit is net moontlik gewees om met aanvaarding van myself te begin omdat ek deur die mense rondom my beter aanvaar word. Dit is so belangrik in my proses van selfaanvaarding, dat ek ook moet voel ek word waardeer vir my slim brein en nie veroordeel vir my dom lyf nie.

Dit is so belangrik dat ek dit nie genoeg kan sê nie. Dit is die heel beste ding vir my as ek sien hoe my mamma en my mooi juffrou my so aanvaar en my ondersteun in my pogings om myself te aanvaar vir my goeie en my slegte dinge. Dit is altyd die beste ding vir my as hulle my so help planne maak.

Voor ek kon kommunikeer, het ek ook dikwels self planne probeer maak, maar niemand het daarvan geweet nie en ek was dikwels veroordeel oor my gedrag, terwyl ek eintlik besig was om my uiterste bes te probeer om self ‘n plan te probeer beraam.

Nou dat ek kan kommunikeer, kan ek vra vir hulp en ook my planne bespreek met my mamma en my mooi juffrou, so ek is nou baie bly daaroor dat ek dit kan doen.


Dit is ook super belangrik.

My lyf wys nie wat ek voel nie, so as ek nie kan kommunikeer nie, dan kan ek nie wys wat my pla of gelukkig maak nie.

Dit is ‘n mooi groot stryd as dit mooi nie met my lyf saamwerk nie en ek nie met my penprater kan vertel wat die probleem is nie, want dan raak ek bitterlik gefrustreerd met myself en met die mense om my.

Blogger vriende:

My mamma lees en vertel dikwels van ander blogs wat sy gelees het, wat geskryf is deur ander mense wie se lywe ook neuk soos myne en hulle beteken vir my vreeslik baie .

Hulle vertel ook van hul probleme met hul lywe wat verkeerd neuk en dit help my om nie so alleen te voel nie.

Ek is hulle ewig dankbaar dat hulle bereid was om vir die wêreld te vertel van hulle stryd met hulle lywe. Dit maak ‘n groot verskil in my stryd om myself te aanvaar.

Dit is al geselskap wat ek het van mense wat net soos ek is, want my maats wat hier by my in die skool is, kan nog nie kommunikeer nie.

Dit is vir my baie spesiaal, ek is al so moedeloos gewees oor my lyf wat so met my maak, want dit voel vir my dit is net my lyf wat so maak en dit help my om te hoor daar is ander mense wat met dieselfde probleem sukkel.

Body Engagers“:

Daar is ‘n paar praktiese wenke wat ek het om my dans met my lyf en my gemoed aan te help.

Die een wat vir my die meeste help, is “Body Engagers”, wat my lyf besig hou terwyl my kop werk.

Ek is baie lief vir ‘n “vissie video” wat my juffrou vir my speel in die klas.

Terwyl ek na die vissies kyk, is ek besig om baie hard te dink. As my lyf nie besig is terwyl my kop werk nie, dan is my lyf net ledig en hulle sê nie verniet “ledigheid is die duiwel se oorkussing” nie. My lyf is dan baie meer besig en met ‘n besige lyf, kan my kop lekker dink. As my lyf heeltemal stil gehou moet word, dan is dit soveel moeite dat ek nie met my kop kan dink nie. Dan is ek stokflou van die gesukkel om my lyf te beheer en dan is ek ook gedoem tot mislukking.

Dit is juis omdat ek besig was om na die vissies te kyk, dat ek hierdie blog kon skryf. Die vissies maak my ook rustig en kalm as hulle so lekker in die water swem.

Ek gebruik ook party maal goed wat lekker voel om my hande besig te hou. Dit help ook baie. As dit my nie help nie, probeer ek iets anders in die hande kry om myself besig te hou, sodat ek lekker kan dink.

Ek hou ook van stim en dit help my ook om kalm te bly as ek opgewerk of ontsteld raak.

Om kalm te bly.

Ek is nie seker dat mense besef hoe baie deeglik ek kan aanvoel hoe hulle gemoedskommelinge ervaar nie. Dit het ‘n erge invloed op my lyf en my gemoed, want dit is altyd vir my baie swaar om te funksioneer in die geskelskap van iemand wat nie kalm is nie.

Ek het self ‘n probleem om kalm te bly. Sodra ek opgewonde, hartseer, gespanne, ongelukkig of enige emosie anders as kalmte ervaar, dan is dit ‘n vreeslike stryd om my lyf te beheer, want dit is al die emosies wat my lyf so deurmekaar krap.

So as iemand na aan my ook nog sukkel om kalm te bly, dan het ek geen kans op sukses om my lyf te beheer nie.

Dit is veral belangrik om kalm te bly wanneer ek lyk asof ek wil uithaak, dan is dit moeilik vir my om my gemoed en my lyf omgedraai te kry as die mense rondom my reageer op my lyf se optrede en die geluide wat ek maak as ek opgewerk raak.

Ek self moet ook myself probeer kalm hou, anders gaan ek dit in elk geval verloor – of ek dit kan omdraai as ek reeds ontsteld is, hang af van die mense rondom my.

My ore se weerligafleiers

Dit is weer wat my oorfone en die white noise is vir my baie sensitiewe ore. Dit is belangrike hulpmiddels om my te help in my dans met my lyf en my gemoed.

Die ander ding, wat my ook help, is as ek my hande oor my ore sit, want dan demp dit ook bietjie die klank, sodat die harde of irriterende geluide my nie ontstel nie.

Respek vir my harde werk om my lyf te beheer

Dit is belangrik  dat ek maar kan sê as ek klaar is, want dan ek is dan te moeg om my lyf verder te beheer. Ek is dan nie meer so seker ek sal kan my lyf in toom hou wanneer ek ontsteld raak nie. Ek waardeer dit as iemand my soveel respekteer dat ek kan sê wanneer ek nie meer kan vasbyt nie

 Dit beteken dat ek soms moet handoek ingooi en ‘n ander dag weer probeer.

Dit is baie belangrik dat ek daardie keuse moet kan hê, sodat ek weet my lyf gaan my nie in die steek laat op ‘n plek of tyd wat vir my vernederend is nie.

Ek gaan seker nooit heeltemal beheer kry oor my lyf nie, maar ek kan werk aan my reaksie op my lyf se geneukery. Dankie vir elkeen wat my gehelp het om dit te verstaan. Ek dink dit is nog die heel belangrikste les wat ek geleer het in my poging om mooi te kan dans met my gemoed en my lyf. Ek is nou al so oulik daarmee dat ek my kan mooi beheer, selfs al is ek baie omgekrap oor iets of wat iemand gesê het. Dit is al baie beter as wat dit was, maar ek het nog ‘n lang pad voor my en moet nog elke dag kliphard daaraan werk.

My most beautifull beautifull year: 2019

My mooiste mooiste mooi jaar was 2019

Scroll down for English version (after Afrikaans on page).

My stem is steeds doodstil, maar my woorde trek oor die wêreld heen. Dit is my mooiste droom wat waar geword het met my blogskrywery. My stem was nog altyd stil en my woorde was my geheim wat net ek van geweet het. Vandat ek kan kommunikeer deur te spel op die borde en te skryf, is my woorde nou nie meer net my geheim nie. My woorde is nou my beste wonderwerk en droom wat waar geword het, want nou kan my woorde iets beteken vir ander mense. Ek wil veral vir my maats wat soos ek is, help, want dit sal my hart bly maak as ek vir ander kinders soos ek wie se stemme ook stil is, kan hoop gee. Ek sal altyd my beste probeer om ander soos ek te help, want ek weet hoe swaar dit is om nie te kan praat nie. Ek wens ek kan dit vir ander kinders makliker maak sodat hulle nie so lank soos ek moet wag om hul woorde uit te kry nie. Ek is nou so dankbaar dat ek kan kommunikeer dat ek baie graag vir ander wil help.

Die mooiste mooi van die jaar vir my was dat ek soos ander kinders kon leer en skool toe gaan. Dit is iets wat baie kinders as ‘n straf sien dat hulle moet skool toe gaan, maar vir my was dit nog altyd net ‘n droom om te kan leer. Ek het die jaar die eerste keer kans gekry om te kan leer soos ander kinders en ek het gewys dat ek dit kan doen.

Ek is woes besig om my mooiste drome te laat bewaarheid en ek is baie dankbaar vir mamma en pappa  en my sussie, Lisa,  vir al hul hulp en ondersteuning, maar ek weet dat niks moontlik sou wees as dit nie vir die genade van my God was nie. Ook was daar baie ander mense op my pad wat my gehelp het om my drome te verwesenlik. As ek almal my mooiste wense kan gee, sal dit wees dat hulle my moet sien om te glo waar ek gekom het.

My mooiste wens is dat wat met my gebeur het, ook met my maats wat soos ek is, gebeur. Die mense dink dit is net ek wat so slim is, maar my maats het ook woorde in hul koppe wat wag om uit te kom. Ek wens hulle kry ook die hulp wat ek gekry het sodat hulle ook kan glo dat dit vir hulle ook moontlik is om hulle drome te bewaarheid.

Ek het ook slegte ondervindings gehad, maar omdat ek nou kan kommunikeer, kon ons selfs die slegte ondervindings mooi uitsorteer.

My mooiste jaar se Kersfees was my beste ooit, want ek het persente gekies vir my gesin. Dit was die eertse keer ooit dat ek dit kon doen en dit het my hart vreeslik bly gemaak. Dit is ongelooflik lekker om my mooiste jaar so af te sluit, want my gesin het vreeslik baie opgeoffer om my te kan help. Ek voel soms skuldig oor alles wat hulle moet prys gee om my te kan help. Dit was vir my baie lekker dat ek vir hulle met ‘n geskenkie uit my hart kon dankie sê.

My mooiste mooi jaar het geëidig met ‘n mooi dans by die Sutherland hotel. Dit was vreeslik lekker om saam met my gesin te kan gaan dans. Dit was so lekker om met my mamma ook te kan dans. Ek sal dit nooit kon gedoen het as dit nie was vir al die moeite wat ons die jaar met my kommunikasie en terapieë gedoen het nie. Dit was ‘n jaar   van baie hoogtepunte en dit gaan nog mooier wees in 2020, want ek kan nou praat, al is my stem steeds stil.

Mag 2020 ook vir al my vriende en familie so mooi wees soos wat 2019 vir my was.

Ek sal dit met my hele hart vir my maats wat ook nie kan praat nie, toe wens.

My most Beautifull Beautifull year: 2019

Translation done by Mom.

My voice is still silent, but my words travel across the world. Writing this blog,  is my most beautiful dream come true. My voice was always silent, and my words were  my secret, which only I knew of. Since I can now communicate by spelling on the boards and writing, my words are no longer only  a secret. My words are now my best miracle and dream come true because it can now help other people. I want to help other people like me. It will make me very happy if I could give hope to other children like me whose voices are also silent. I shall always try my best to help others like me, because I know how difficult it is not to be able to speak. I wish I can make it easier for other children so that they do not have to wait as long as I did to get their words out. I am very grateful to be able to communicate and I would love to help others.

The most beautiful beautiful of this year for me was that I could learn and attend school like other children. Children often do not like to attend school, but  it has always only been a dream of mine to be able to learn. This year I got the chance to learn (aka “age appropriate schooling”) like other children and I proved that I can do it.

I am busy reaching my most beautiful dreams at an alarming pace. I am very grateful for my mom and my dad and my sister, Lisa, for all their help and encouragement, but I know that none of it would have been possible without the grace of my God. There were also many other people who helped me achieve my dreams.  I wish that they could see where I got to to believe it.

My most beautiful wish is that what happened to me, also happens for my friends who are like me. People think that it is only me that are so clever, but my friends also have words in their heads which await to be freed. I wish they can also receive the help I got so that they can also believe that their dreams can also come true. 

I also had bad experiences, but because I can now communicate, we could sort out even the bad experiences and make them beautiful.

My most beautiful year’s Christmas was my best ever, because I could choose presents for my family. This was the very first time I could do this and it made me extremely happy. It is unbelievably enjoyable to end my year this way, because my family sacrificed a lot to help me.  I often feel guilty because of everything they have to sacrifice to be able to help me. It was extremely nice to be able to thank them with a present from the bottom of my heart.

My most beautiful beautiful year ended with a beautiful dance at the Sutherland hotel with my family. I enjoyed it immensely to go to the dance with my family. It was so enjoyable to dance with my mom. I would never have been able to do this was it not for all the effort we made with my communication and therapies.   It was a year with many highlights and it is going to be even better in 2020, because I can now talk, even though my voice is still silent.

May 2020 be as beautiful for all my friends and family as 2019 was for me.

I wish this especially for all my friends who also cannot speak.

What I would have told my parents before I could communicate # Wat ek vir my ouers sou sê toe ek nog nie kon praat nie

My hart raak seer as  ek hieroor praat, want my ouers het baie tyd en geld gemors. My blogpost gaan nie oor wie se skuld dit was nie, maar vir ander om gehelp te word uit die foute wat in my lewe gemaak is.

 “Outisme is nie die einde van die wêreld nie,  ek gaan okay wees. “

As ek kon praat, sou ek dit eerste vir hulle wou sê. My hart moet baie keer hoor hoe ander mense vertel dat outisme ‘n baie slegte ding is, maar outisme is my lewe en dit is okay om outisties te wees. Dit is net baie sleg as mamma my nie verstaan nie. Omdat sy nie van beter geweet het nie en sy na slim mense geluister het en hulle was eintlik baie dommer as sy sy het dit net nie geweet nie. Sy is baie kere vertel dat my gedrag sleg was en eintlik was dit my lyf wat nie na my kop wil luister nie. Mamma het baie keer gefrustreerd geraak met my want sy het gedink ek wil nie maak soos sy sê nie, maar eintlik was ek kliphard besig om te probeer, my lyf wou net nie na my kop luister nie.   Ek is nou baie bly dat mamma van beter weet maar nou sukkel sy steeds om ander mense te oortuig dat dit so is. Mamma is baie mooi slim, maar met outisme was sy mooi dom, want sy het nie verstaan dat sy my nie kon regkry met allerhande terapieë nie, want ek is eintlik klaar reg en mooi, net soos ek is. Outisme en al.

Mamma was onkundig en het baie moeite gedoen om van outisme te leer, maar sy het na mense geluister wat nie self outisties was nie. Hulle is nie altyd reg oor wat hulle dink outisme is nie. As sy woorde kon hoor van ander outistiese kinders soos ek, dan sou sy van beter geweet het. Daarom is dit belangrik dat ek my storie vertel sodat ander my woorde kan hoor en beter verstaan. Wat ek vir haar sou sê is dat:

 “Ek is ‘n mens net soos almal anders, maar my lyf is net nie dieselfde as ander mense s’n nie, want hy wil nie vir my kop luister nie. “

My hart voel nou sommer stukke beter noudat ek dit gesê het.

Wat se raad het ek vir mense in dieselfde posisie? Dit is nou baie moeilik, want mamma is my grootste ondersteuner en ek moet nou vertel van mamma se mooi maniere wat nie gewerk het nie. Dit is vir my baie sleg, maar ek weet mamma wil net so graag ander mense help soos ek, so ek weet mamma sal dit verstaan. Ek is mos mamma se slim kind.

My mamma het my na **** geneem en hulle het my nie verstaan nie, maar toe ons by die S2C workshop was verlede jaar, het mamma vir hulle ook saam genooi. Mamma het goeie werk gedoen om hulle saam te nooi. Dit was mamma se beste manier om my ‘n  kans te gee   om vir hulle te wys dat hulle my onderskat het. Dit is wat ek wil sê vir ander ouers:

 “Moenie jou kind onderskat nie, want sy of haar lyf laat hom of haar dalk  dom lyk, maar mooi woorde moet net ‘n manier kry om uit te kom, want glo my, hulle het baie mooi woorde.”

Hoe dankbaar ek is omdat ek nou kan kommunikeer, want dit is die enigste manier waarop ek kan wys hoe ek voel. My lyf is nie my sterk punt nie. Ek is dankbaar dat ek kan hoor en sien en kan loop en spring, maar my lyf is tog ook my hart en my brein se huis, so ek is dankbaar dat hy daar is, maar sonder kommunikasie is my lyf ‘n reuse struikelblok. As ek dus met my ouers kon praat, sou ek sê dat:

 “julle my net moet help met  kommunikasie. Die res help nie veel nie as niemand my verstaan nie.”

So, as ek raad moet gee, is ek in iemand se slegte boekie, want ek dink die enigste terapie wat my gehelp het was Spelling to Communicate. Die ander goed is nie so effektief nie, want hulle fokus net op my dom lyf.

Translation to English by mom.

I get very sad, when I speak  about this, because my parents wasted much time and money. This blogpost is not about whose fault it is, but to help others from the mistakes made in my life.

“ Autism is not the end of the world, I am going to be okay”

If I could speak, that is the first thing I would have liked to tell them.I often have to listen to people saying that autism is a very terrible thing, but autism is my life, and it is okay to be autistic. The only bad thing is when my mom does not understand me. Because she did not know any better, she listened to clever people who were actually non the wiser, she just did not know it. She were often told that my behaviour was bad, but in actual fact it was my body which did not listen to my brain. My mom often got frustrated with me, because she thought that I did not want to do what she wanted me to do, meanwhile I was trying my utmost best, my body just did not want to listen to my brain. I am very glad that my mom now knows better, but now she struggles to convince others. My mom is very clever, but with autism she was very stupid. She did not understand that she could not fix me with all sorts of therapies, because I was already right and beautiful just the way I am, autism and all.

My mom was uninformed about autism and made a lot of effort to learn about autism, but she listened to people who were not autistic themselves. They are not always right about what they think autism is.  If she could hear the words off other autistic children like me, she would have been better off. That is why it is important to tell my story so that other people can hear my words and understand better. What I would have told her if I could, was:

“I am a human just like everyone else, my body is just not the same as others, because it does not listen to my  brain.”

What advice do I have for people in the same position? This is very difficult for me, because my mom is my biggest supporter and I have to tell of things she did which did not work. This is terrible for me to do, but I know my mom wants to help other people just as much as I do, so I know that she will understand. I am my mom’s clever child.

My mom took me to ****, but they did not understand me. When we went to the S2C workshop the previous year, my mom invited them to go as well. My mom did good by inviting them. That was the best way I got an opportunity to show them that they underestimated me. That is what I want to tell other parents:

“Do not underestimate your child, because it is his or her body which makes him or her look stupid, but beautiful words just need a way to get out, because believe me, they have very beautiful words.”

How thankful am I that I can now communicate, because it is the only way that I can show what I feel. My body is not my best feature. I am grateful that I can hear and see and walk and jump, but my body is also my heart and my brain’s house. So, I am grateful that I have it, but without communication, my body is a huge barrier. If I could speak to my parents then, I would have told them:

“Only help me to communicate. The rest does not help much if nobody understands me.”

So, if I have to give others advice, I am stepping on toes. In my opinion, the only therapy which helped me, was Spelling to Communicate. The rest of the therapies was not as effective because it only focused on my stupid body.

Wie ek is en hoe ek praat Who I am and how I speak

my silent voice/ my stil stem

My mamma is my woorde se stem, want ek is al 13 jaar oud maar kan nie praat nie. Tog het ek baie woorde in my kop wat ek graag met julle wil deel oor my lewe as ‘n outistiese seun. Daarom moet ek met my mamma se hulp vir julle skryf of spel op my spelbord, want my stem is stil. My mamma moet my help, maar my woorde is my eie woorde. Ek is nie my eie lyf se baas nie, daarom is dit vir my moeilik om self te tik, so, my mamma help my om te leer tik met Spelling to Communicate. Dit is my mooiste verhaal se begin by Spelling to Communincate wat vir my mamma gewys het dat ek ook mooi slim is en woorde het al het hulle niks klank nie. Ek is baie dankbaar vir Spelling to Communicate, want dit het my…

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My mamma # My mommy

My mamma is my grootste ondersteuner. Sy is die een wat my elke dag help om te kan praat. Mamma is my mooiste mamma. My pa is baie gelukkig om haar as vrou te hê. Mamma is so anders as ander mammas wat net mooi lief is vir hul kinders, want mamma is ook my stem en my lyf se mooi motorband, want sy help my lyf reguleer en hou my lyf op die regte pad soos ‘n kar se wiele hom op die regte pad hou. Mens moet vreeslik baie geduld hê om dit te kan doen. My mamma het nie baie geduld nie, maar sy het geleer om met my geduldig te wees. Selfs al maak ek haar soms maar sleg seer sy bly bly lief vir my en probeer my altyd help. Sonder haar sou ek verlore gewees het. My mamma is my beste vriendin maar ook my belangrikste skakel met die wêreld wat my nie verstaan nie.

Translation to English by Mom.

My mommy is my greatest supporter. She is the one that helps me everyday to communicate. Mommy is my most beautiful mommy. My dad is very lucky to have her as a wife. My mommy is so different from other moms who only love their children, because my mom is also my voice and my body’s tyre, because she helps me to regulate my body and keep my body on the right path as a car’s wheels keeps a car on the right path. You have to have a lot of patience to to be able to do that. My mommy does not have a lot of patience, but she learned to have patience with me. Even though I sometimes hurt her, she still loves me and always tries to help me. Without her, I would be lost. My mommy is my best friend but also my most important link to the world that does not understand me.

Wie ek is en hoe ek praat Who I am and how I speak

My mamma is my woorde se stem, want ek is al 13 jaar oud maar kan nie praat nie. Tog het ek baie woorde in my kop wat ek graag met julle wil deel oor my lewe as ‘n outistiese seun. Daarom moet ek met my mamma se hulp vir julle skryf of spel op my spelbord, want my stem is stil. My mamma moet my help, maar my woorde is my eie woorde. Ek is nie my eie lyf se baas nie, daarom is dit vir my moeilik om self te tik, so, my mamma help my om te leer tik met Spelling to Communicate. Dit is my mooiste verhaal se begin by Spelling to Communincate wat vir my mamma gewys het dat ek ook mooi slim is en woorde het al het hulle niks klank nie. Ek is baie dankbaar vir Spelling to Communicate, want dit het my wereld van stilte oop gesluit. My woorde wat al so lank in my kop rond dwaal soos diere in ‘n hok, kan nou uiteindelik uit kom en my lewe is soveel beter as gevolg daarvan. My lewe was baie sleg toe ek nog nie kon kommunikeer nie. Nou word al my drome waar. Hierdie blog is een van my drome.

“It is important to tell my story so that other children can also be helped.” Nicolaas Paulsen

Translation to English by Mom.

Who I am and how I speak

My mommy is my words’ voice, because I am 13 years old but cannot speak.I have many words in my head though that I want to share with you about my life as an autistic boy. I therefore, with my mommy’s help, have to write to you or spell on my spellingboard, because my voice is silent. My mommy have to help me, but my words are my own words. I am not the boss of my own body, it is therefore very difficult for me to type myself. My mommy helps me to learn to type with Spelling to Communicate. My most beautifull story starts with Spelling to Communicate as it showed my mommy that I am also clever and have words eventhough they have no sound. I am very thankfull to Spelling to Communicate, because it unlocked my world of silence. My words, that have been wandering in my head like animals in a cage, can now be set free and my life is so much better because of that. My life was terrible before, when I could not communicate. Now all my dreams come true. This blog is one of my dreams.

Introduce Yourself (Example Post)

This is an example post, originally published as part of Blogging University. Enroll in one of our ten programs, and start your blog right.

You’re going to publish a post today. Don’t worry about how your blog looks. Don’t worry if you haven’t given it a name yet, or you’re feeling overwhelmed. Just click the “New Post” button, and tell us why you’re here.

Why do this?

  • Because it gives new readers context. What are you about? Why should they read your blog?
  • Because it will help you focus you own ideas about your blog and what you’d like to do with it.

The post can be short or long, a personal intro to your life or a bloggy mission statement, a manifesto for the future or a simple outline of your the types of things you hope to publish.

To help you get started, here are a few questions:

  • Why are you blogging publicly, rather than keeping a personal journal?
  • What topics do you think you’ll write about?
  • Who would you love to connect with via your blog?
  • If you blog successfully throughout the next year, what would you hope to have accomplished?

You’re not locked into any of this; one of the wonderful things about blogs is how they constantly evolve as we learn, grow, and interact with one another — but it’s good to know where and why you started, and articulating your goals may just give you a few other post ideas.

Can’t think how to get started? Just write the first thing that pops into your head. Anne Lamott, author of a book on writing we love, says that you need to give yourself permission to write a “crappy first draft”. Anne makes a great point — just start writing, and worry about editing it later.

When you’re ready to publish, give your post three to five tags that describe your blog’s focus — writing, photography, fiction, parenting, food, cars, movies, sports, whatever. These tags will help others who care about your topics find you in the Reader. Make sure one of the tags is “zerotohero,” so other new bloggers can find you, too.

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